Wednesday, August 3, 2011

i'm going to be completely honest.

so, that last post, it's about getting over a past relationship, right?
okay. well i just want to clear some things up and get this stuff out of my head once and for all. we all know my last relationship was a bad one. it ended like, 3 years ago mind you.

some people thought that i wasn't over him because all i could talk about was how crappily he treated me. honestly, i WAS over him, but NOT over the way he had treated me. not introducing me as his girlfriend, breaking up over a text message, and many other ridiculous things....really...no one wants to be treated that way.

one of my biggest pet peeves is how people (ex-friends, ex-boyfriends) can be so cruel and talk smack about you to others like you're the worst person on the planet. well, i will tell you what. if someone makes a judgement about you and tells everyone else, screw it. because the only opinion of yourself that should matter is your own. don't care what other people think because half the time it's made up smack that people spread without any hard evidence. they talk about it and think it's "juicy," getting a stunned reaction from listeners.

i've learned that a lot of people who are insecure with themselves will take a little bit of a problem and blow it up, making them seem like the innocent ones. they feel powerful knowing that they can conceal their problems by making other people seem like the "problem." this goes out to all the people who have talked about me behind my back and told lies about me. i know i'm a good person, and if you judge me by one mistake, you shouldn't even call yourself a friend of mine. i'm better off without people who can't see through all the drama others create.

if anyone wants to believe all that bull about me, that's great! take the easy way out! but i never make judgements on people based on what i hear from others. EVER. i know a person when i genuinely get to know them myself. and i'll tell you, some of those people who have had others talk negatively about them are actually some of the nicest people i know. so make your own judgments. you know what you like and what kind of people you like to be around, so don't get lazy. go and get to know them yourself.

the good of it all

this is an entry from the website "LettersIllNeverSend.com."
it speaks to me and my past relationship to say the least. it really helped me get over it once and for all.

"I hate you. I hate you for doing what you did to me. I hate you for stringing me along. I hate you for being able to carry on with your life. I hate you for hurting me.

I hate myself for ever caring about you. I hate myself for not learning my lesson the first time. I hate myself for believing you. I hate myself for not listening to my gut. I hate myself for being your fool.

Even though I hate you, I love you for showing me true happiness in my life without you in it. I love you for leaving my life so that good things could happen. And I love you for losing me so that someone better can one day take your place.

I love myself for letting you go and finally being able to be happy without you, or anyone. I love myself for having the strength to be alone. I love myself; I have never loved myself before because I always depended on someone else to do it for me. Thank you for showing me how."